Change is Life's Only Constant

A reflection on transitions, inner seasons, and learning to soften into change.

In this episode, Frances speaks to the ever-moving nature of life and on how change can feel both disorienting and full of wisdom. Whether you're in the middle of a shift, an ending, or a beginning, this episode invites you to meet it with curiosity and care.

Timestamps: (10.5 minute listen)

00:00 – Opening & warm welcome
 00:40 – Reflecting on change as life’s constant
 01:25 – Personal transitions: witnessing life’s seasons
 02:45 – Three Guiding Anchors:
 02:45 – 1. Savor the Ordinary
 05:50 – 2. Acceptance is Key
 07:05 – 3. Letting Go is a Sacred Act
 08:30 – A quiet reminder: you are allowed to evolve
 09:45 – Closing reflection & invitation to trust your unfolding

Connect With Frances:

• Website: www.flourishingmindsco.com
• Substack: franceslacuesta.substack.com
• Instagram: @flourishingmindsco

Transcript

Frances Lacuesta: 0:00

Hello friends, welcome to Notes from the Tenderverse. I'm Frances Lacuesta, and I'm your host. Thank you for being here. If this is your first time tuning in, thank you for being curious. This space is a gentle corner of the world where we reflect on what it means to live with grace, humanity, and presence. Today's episode is about something I've been thinking a lot about lately, and that's change. The one thing in life that never stops. Earlier this year, I traveled to the Philippines to see my mom and to be there as my sister and her family moved to Germany. After 13 years apart, they were finally reuniting. It was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. I was there mostly to support and help ease the sadness, especially for my mom, who was very close to her grandchildren. I knew how hard it would be once the house grew quieter, especially without the kids' laughter and the silence around the dining table can be deafening. Like most goodbyes, it stirred something deep inside me. It reminded me that change never stops. Even when life feels still, it's shifting underneath. And that shift, big or small, is part of what makes life so precious. I come from a big Filipino family. And over the years, I've watched it constantly change its shape. Someone moves away for school. Another comes home after years abroad. A baby is born. A grandparent passes. One by one, the people we love leave, return, or transition into new seasons of their lives. It never stays the same. I remember when I went away to college. My grandma, who helped raise me, was starting to forget things. Little did I know it was already the early onset of dementia. One day, I called home and my mom passed the phone to her. But she didn't recognize my voice when I started talking to her. I had to remind her who I was through choked back tears because her memory started to fade. Eventually, her body and spirit faded too. And I realized how hard it is to let go of who someone used to be. But I've also come to understand, holding on too tightly only adds to the pain. This is the nature of life. People age, bodies change, relationships shift. Resisting it doesn't stop the change. It just makes it harder. How do we live with change without getting lost in it? These three guiding anchors I'm going to share with you have helped me navigate the rhythm of impermanence. Maybe they'll help you too. So here they are. The first one is savor the ordinary. You've probably heard savor the moment before. But what does it really mean? Psychologists Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff define savoring as the ability to notice, appreciate, and enhance positive experiences. Building on this concept, in a paper published by the American Psychological Association, titled Be Here Now, Perceptions of Uncertainty Enhance Savoring, Researchers Andrew Gregory and his colleagues found that when people experience more uncertainty, they're more likely to savor the present moment. When my sister and her family left, I kept thinking about how quiet the house would be for my mom and how fast things shifted. The laughter, the dinner table, the mess, the noise, all of it suddenly gone. And I realized that Even the ordinary moments are sacred, especially because they don't last. Savoring can be as simple as really tasting your coffee or tea, listening when a loved one speaks, and noticing the sunlight through the window, or like me as I record this, hearing the birdsong outside. It doesn't have to be dramatic or profound. But when you're present with what is, it becomes more meaningful. The second is acceptance is key. Getting older has taught me that nothing stays the same. Some relationships end, new ones begin. We celebrate births and mourn losses. The reason a moment is precious is because it's not going to last forever. Acceptance means honoring what's here as it is, not judging it and not wishing it away. It doesn't mean you have to like the change, but you stop resisting it. And from there, you can choose how to respond. When my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, I found it hard to accept. I had just visited him and my mom in the Philippines and celebrated the holidays together. A few weeks after I returned to the States, I received the news. And I was devastated. What made it even more heartbreaking was how fast it spread. He passed away just six weeks after his diagnosis. This was a major life change, but it taught me something profound about acceptance. I knew he didn't have much time left. And as I started to come to terms with that, I found a certain peace. I decided that I would savor the remaining time I had with him, and that made all the difference. Acceptance is key, but the journey doesn't stop there. And this leads me to the last guiding anchor, which is, letting go is a sacred act. Letting go often feels like loss, but it's also a beginning. When we make space for what's ending, we also make room for what's becoming. Resisting change creates suffering. Softening to it creates space. Letting go isn't about giving up, but it's allowing life to flow. That's why this reminds me of the serenity prayer. And I quote, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. We can grieve and still be open to what's next because it's a natural continuation of acceptance. When we accept what is, we're better able to release what was and open ourselves to what could be. So as we move forward, we don't just carry loss. We carry love. We carry wisdom. We carry growth. Before we close, I want to gently return to the anchors we've explored today. Savoring reminds us to stay close to what's here, in the present. Acceptance teaches us to meet reality with grace, and letting go frees us to move with life and not against it. These aren't rules, they're more ways of being. They help us stay present and find meaning in the midst of change. And as we end, I want to share with you a short practice. And if you are in a quiet place, and if you feel safe, to close your eyes even just for a moment. And just noticing the breath as it goes in and out of your body. No need to fix it. Just being with the breath, noticing it as it flows through you. And now, think about something that's changing in your life, whether big or small. And now gently say to yourself, change is part of life. I allow what is shifting to unfold. I can hold what is true and still let go. Just letting that land for a few more breaths. And then let your breath soften. Let your body unclench. Let life move through you. And slowly opening your eyes. If this reflection stirred something in you, I'd love to hear from you. What change are you navigating? What's shifted recently and how are you meeting it? If you'd like to share your story or send me a message, you can find how to reach me in the show notes. Just scroll down wherever you're listening. And if this episode spoke to you, I'd be so grateful if you shared it with a friend or someone who might need it too. It helps the show grow and help others feel a little less alone in the changes they're going through. And if today you're feeling a little unsteady because something in your life is shifting, remember, change is part of life. It's not always easy, but it's always shaping us. Until next time, bye for now.